(This blog post on trance of unworthiness is inspired by a chapter from Tara Brach’s book Radical Acceptance)
The belief that no matter what, we are always, in some ways, falling short is what puts us in a ‘trance of unworthiness’. Rooted in our stories of fear and failure, this trance completely delimits and defines our experience of life.
We forget that choices and options are always available to us and that there is a life beyond our perceived pre-scripted drama of life. This trance of unworthiness separates us from others.
Explanation of Trance of Unworthiness
Beautifully explained by Tara Brach in her book, ‘the more deficient we feel, the more separate and vulnerable we feel. Our reaction to this fear is to feel blame, even hatred, toward whatever we consider the source of the problem. The belief that we are deficient and unworthy makes it difficult to trust that we are truly loved’.
To Belong
When we feel unworthy, we convince our-self that we are not good enough. We can never relax or accept love from anyone. Our natural response is to stay on guard and criticize our-self. This makes it difficult for us to develop a feeling of belonging.
‘the more deficient we feel, the more separate and vulnerable we feel. Our reaction to this fear is to feel blame, even hatred, toward whatever we consider the source of the problem The belief that we are deficient and unworthy makes it difficult to trust that we are truly loved’
Tara Brach
In order to belong, we do not need to be different or better than what we are-we only have to accept ourselves, understand our core beliefs, embark on a journey of self-improvement and do what brings us joy and calm our inner critic. The key is to accept our-self, accept our feelings and emotions without feeling them with our stories. Let it be a smooth, natural and organic process of self-discovery rooted in self-love.
“All that we are is based on our thoughts.” – Buddha.
